I pretend to have it all together......but I don't.
I try to be strong.....but I can't.
I keep bending.....but I won't break.
What's important is......I try.
I'm not super.....I'm just a mom....trying to be the best "me" for my kids.
I look at my boys and cry. I cry because they make me happy, but I cry because I'm sad for what they're missing. This isn't how a family lives.
The current state of my house is representative of how I feel right now and I won't let anyone in the door. I need this crazy tangled mess of me to straighten out again. I can't breathe!
Hey Patricia!
ReplyDeleteThanks for you comment over at my place. I can relate to this post for sure. I feel like I try to be super woman A LOT. I like how you say, "What's important is....I try." I absolutely agree. We have these images in our mind of what the perfect mom, perfect home etc looks like...and the reality is that there is the important stuff and everything else. Hang in there!
Oh, Patricia, this made me cry! Every mom, at some point, goes through this struggle. For some, it's a blip on the overall radar of motherhood, but sometimes it's one of the defining moments. The "family's shouldn't live like this" broke my heart for you! I think the way you and Noah are handling the work-parenting-etc. craziness is absolutely amazing!! I kept being told with everything I was going through and how it would affect Anya that "kids are resilient." It drove me crazy to hear because it doesn't feel that way in the moment. But looking at it, now, it's so true. Your boys will look back on this time and see parents who worked hard to give them a good life. And, more importantly, they know, will ALWAYS know, they are so well loved and so well cared for! So many kids don't have that. You are superwoman to your kids even if you don't see yourself that way. And don't worry about what your house looks like. I've decided I'd rather spend my day playing my girls and having adventures with them than having "the perfect home." So I don't care what my house looks like and neither should you. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this.
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