Pure Sweetness

A few weeks ago, on a Friday, I was out with Alistair and he looked at me, totally seriously and said, "I'm the only baby today! This is fun, Mommy!" It was obvious to me then that this time together REALLY is special to him because he "shares" me with Jake and Sadie Monday-Thursday. Within the next few weeks, he'll have a little brother to "share" with, so I have been (probably more than I should) trying to make our Fridays all about him. He notices!

In the car Wednesday evening, completely out of the blue, Alistair asked me if he could have a marshmallow when we got home. Dry. A "dry" marshmallow. I'm assuming that meant plain as opposed to on a s'more, so I said, "sure. After dinner." This is the response I got:
"You're the best Mommy ever! I will never leave you!"
I was moved to tears by this! Oh, if only life stayed that simple!

To top off that story, Thursday afternoon we were walking up the driveway at work on our way to the car when he grabbed my hand and said, "Don't ever leave me, Mommy."
Tears again. Where is all this coming from? I don't know, but I'm soaking it in while my boy is still young enough to want to be with his Mommy!


Cowboy Alistair and his trusty "horse!"


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Biggie Boy

Working with some heavy machinery
(and modeling his ear protection!)




Smarty boy playing his favorite computer game at the library!




Bath time fun!








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36 weeks!

Visited the OB this morning. Good news all around! Ronan's heart rate was good and his heart still sounds great! I am still at 2cm dilated, which is awesome! It gives us more time for Daddy to get here! However, If I go into active labor at this point, they won't do anything to stop it. I mean, that's good news too because it means we're out of the woods as far as preterm complications, but I REALLY NEED Noah to be here!

On a side note: I would like to thank the playgroup ladies again for all of their support, advice and offers of help. YOU LADIES ARE THE BEST! I am so blessed to call you all my friends!


Our playgroup:
These are some if the most wonderful women and children i have ever been blessed to know!


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I'll save you from the unearthly Ralphy!

Some of the things that Alistair has said lately have REALLY blown me away! I mean, once he started toddling, I realized one day that he wasn't a "baby" anymore and we moved onto the next phase. Then, he REALLY started talking and over the past year and a half that we've been spending our days with Jake and Sadie we have been on a wild ride of development, learning, discovery and craziness! A ride that I can't even begin to describe without bursting into tears over how happy these three BIG KIDS make me every single day!
We are now onto that phase....BIG KID! The impending birth of our second child has REALLY brought my love for Alistair to a completely different level. It IS true what they say; your heart grows! It makes me so proud to watch him becoming a "little man" so to speak. He's a BIG BROTHER and it is really starting to "sink in." He loves to rattle off the list of things he's going to teach his baby brother. From sign language and ABCs to bike riding and how to walk! The first thing he said to me when he got up from nap yesterday was, "I'm going to teach Ronan how to talk. Like this: TRAC-TOR." It was so adorable!
He has become so well-spoken too! He has an incredible ability to say exactly what he thinks! Sometimes I look at him and wonder if there's not an older brain in that 2 1/2-year-old boy! Here are just a few of the funny things he has said lately:

-I had a nasty cold. Just after hearing me explain to Sadie that I couldn't share my chapstick, Alistair says, "Mommy, I know just the thing! I'll get my screwdriver and we'll get your sickies out! I can fix anything!"

-Whenever I am trying to get him to do something he doesn't want to do, he says, "Mommy, my batteries are dead." And I have to pretend to change his batteries before he'll do what I asked.

-He crawled into bed with us Sunday morning and was playing with the dogs saying, "Mommy, I'll save you from the unearthly Ralphy!" it was so funny because he puts on a tough guy voice when he's pretending to be a super hero and he wrinkles his brow and hunches his shoulders! I just want to squeeze him!

Latest Happenings

At the OB last Friday, I was 1-2cm dialated already. Could stay like that for another couple weeks, but it's hard not to get anxious! He's head down, his HR was a bit higher (150's), but he was VERY active while we were there. I FINALLY gained what I think is a sufficient amount of weight although my doctors weren't worried at all. We did our hospital tour on Mother's Day, so we are prepared for where to go and what it will be like. Alistair went along so he is familiar with the scenery. Other than that, we've been trying to get some things done around the house on the weekends and I've been slowing down A LOT to allow for good rest. I definately hit "the wall" early this week as far as the end-of-pregnancy hunger and exhaustion go! I'm taking everything slow and not doing as many outing with the kids, so I can take care of myself too!

Took the kids to playgroup at the strawberry farm!

Picnic lunch at the farm!

Pedal Tractor Maze!

We loved it so much we went back the following week with more friends!

(This is Savannah)

AND GRACE!

More tractor pedaling!

Daddy found a baby turtle in the yard!

Isn't he awesome?!

The boys' room is coming along!

Alistair FINALLY got a hat rack!

There's still a lot to be done, but it's ready enough!

Struck a Chord

A couple of quotes that struck me this week. Mainly because I've been FEELING a lot of things and I find myself apologizing a lot for it. I will no longer belittle my own thoughts and feelings just because others have it harder or I don't want to be a burden.


"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." ~Benjamin Disraeli


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

Painting the boys' room

It's going to take me all week, but it's started! Alistair picked the color! I'm impressed! I love it!
It's VERY bright here because it was still wet and the flash glared a bit, but I promise to post pictures of the finished product. (hopefully this weekend).

Update on Baby Ronan

We saw the doctor this morning and it went great! My blood pressure was normal again (it was "borderline" for a couple of visits), Ronan's heart sounds GREAT and HR is 143!  I didn't gain any weight over the past 2 weeks, but am still in the "healthy" range, I am still VERY active and Ronan is GROWING and ACTIVE TOO!!! Man, this boy can kick and stretch!!!! UGH!  We now have all our appointments scheduled from now until our due date! We go back in 2 weeks (at which point I'll be 35 weeks), then every week until he's born!!! SCARY, but SOOOOO EXCITING!!!

I was feeling more like myself today, in fact, I was feeling GREAT, so Alistair and I took a detour to the park and got to visit a bit with a dear, DEAR friend!

This blog is NOT supposed to be about me

Finger painting!



Crashed out over dinner



Alistair and Jake in toddler art class @ Annemarie Garden



Such a sweet boy!



Rootbeer float!


- Posted from my iPhone

A Gray Week?

Before I get sad, I want to THANK those of you who e-mailed, called or texted this week. If just to say "HI, I'm reading the blog," or "missed you at playgroup today." I REALLY needed those. Those little notes help lift me up when I don't even know I need it. THANK YOU!


"Gray day....everything is gray.
I watch. But nothing moves today."


This seems to be how I've felt all week. I don't really know why. I can't explain it. I mean, I guess I could, but there's just so much to it. Blame it on our "separation," the fact that I will only be collecting 5 more weeks of pay, my physical exhaustion...hell, my MENTAL/EMOTIONAL exhaustion....a combination of everything. Whatever "it" is, it's new territory for me. I was a bit anxious right before Alistair was born. I was excited and done being pregnant, was at ease with the whole "labor and delivery" thing, but NEVER did I experience such unexplainable anxiety on this kind of level. The more I think about it, the more I keep re-reading last Tuesday's post and asking myself, "why?" "Why, when I have so much to be happy about, do I feel so incredibly sad.....all the time?" No matter how sunny the day or how happy the kids....i just can't get happy. Am I becoming one of those statistics? Am I a basket case? Am I making it worse for myself?......

give me some time....

i'm trying to figure out a new template for the blog, it's going to be a little jumbbled for a few days.

My Many Colored Days

By Dr. Seuss

"Some days are yellow.
Some days are blue.
On different days I'm different too.

You'd be surprised how many ways
I change on different colored days.

On bright red days
How good I feel
To be a horse
And KiCk my heels!

On other days I'm other things.
On bright blue days I flap my wings.

Some days, of course,
Feel sort of brown.
Then I feel slow
And low, low down.

Then comes a yellow day.
And, Weeeeeeeeee
I am a busy, buzzy bee.

Gray day....everything is gray.
I watch. But nothing moves today.

Then all of a sudden
I am a circus seal!
On my orange days
That's how I feel.

Green days. Deep deep in the sea.
Cool and quiet fish.
That's me.

On purple days
I'm sad. I groan.
I drag my tail.
I walk alone.

But when my days
Are happy pink
It's great to jump
And just not think.

Then come my black days.
Mad. And LOUD.
I howl.
I growl at every cloud.

Then comes a mixed-up day.
And WHAM!
I don't know who or what I am!

But it all turns out alright,
You see.
And I go back to being....
....ME!"

Funny how so many children's books speak so deeply. They state so simply what I have been trying so hard for so many weeks to put into "grown up" language!
Isn't it true that we all need to hold onto to our childish innocence? Isn't that how we see the clearest? Unclouded by "grown up" language or "reason?"

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*SSIGGGHHHHHH*

Well, there are so many things that have been packed in my brain that I'm pretty sure, if it were possible, my head would have exploded already! I was going to spare you all the head-spinning (possibly hormone-driven) babbling that I wanted to type, but you're not so lucky this time. For the simple version check out this post.

If you REALLY want to know please allow me to add this: Though I may struggle, I know have nothing to worry about. Every woman about to give birth has anxiety to some extent. We might be in a "special" situation right now, but it's temporary, there WILL be an end and I will apreciate my life more and more everyday. I have a wonderful, loving, supportive husband who listens to me cry over the phone and somehow STILL loves me more everyday! We are so blessed to have a beautiful, loving, (mostly) well-mannered son who makes our world go around. We have a home, a loving family, wonderful friends and awesome neighbors! What else is there?

So, as I sit here, in the first bit of mental/emotional peace I've had in a while, I am reflecting on what is really important. I am counting my blessings. We are 8 weeks away from the birth of our second beautiful, perfect blessing and I am sending up prayers of thanksgiving for all these things I have listed and so many MANY more that I couldn't even begin to type out. I am praying for healing for those who have lost and those who hurt. I am praying for love for those who don't know HIM, babies for people who desperately ache for one and understanding for anyone who has been cast out. Most of all, I am praying for HAPPINESS for all of you. Those who have been through things with me, those who have stayed just a phone call away even if those phone calls are few and far between, even those of you who just read the blog and those of you I have been blessed to meet only recently, . You are all a part of my life in ways you may not even know. I pray that you all experience happiness at its fullest. Not necessarily material wealth or outward joy. But, PEACE. I wish you PEACE.....there is nothing more......

One Day at a Time

Whatever the goal we're pursuing,

No matter how rugged the climb,

We're certain to get there by trying our best

And taking One Day at a Time. 


"Forever" is hard to imagine,

"The future" may seem far away,

But every new dawn brings a wonderful chance

To do what we can on that day.

It's been a few weeks

Here's why:

I didn't really get to blog about Easter weekend. I guess I was waiting until I got the pictures uploaded to the computer. I'm pretty sure that my last entry was from my phone. Anyway, Easter was AWESOME! That was the weekend I was on "rest," but I managed to get a few things done and do a little more than watch Noah work in the yard. The weather was PERFECT, the garden was tilled and the rest of the yard is coming along BEAUTIFULLY! Alistair was a blast! He was his normal adorable self while he went on an Easter Egg hunt through our yard and was so excited about the new train and tracks that the Easter Bunny left that he ran into the house to play with them......But without them! It's such a joy watching him grow up and discover things and I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing him so happy! It brings me close to tears everyday! He was asking for that train for WEEKS and had even e-mailed the Easter Bunny to ask for it specifically in lieu of candy! How sweet it that?! Well, he's a happy camper and that train is still going EVERYWHERE with us!

The following weekend, we traveled to Surf City, NC for my brother's wedding! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! The wedding was absolutely gorgeous and it was AMAZING to spend time with EVERYONE! We were missing 1 bro-in-law, but had My Mom, all 5 kids and all 4 grandbabies in 1 place at 1 time! (Almost an impossible feat!)

Enjoy some pictures! Update on Baby Ronan later:

EASTER WEEKEND!

BEACH WEDDING WEEKEND!

THE FAMILY!
(L-R)
Billy and Ann Johnston (Connor and Will), Noah and Patricia Brackbill (Alistair), Mark and Alex Centric, Nancy Centric, Steve and Krista Centric (Ellie), Mary Centric Moore.

Today......

.....I am thankful for my oh-so-patient husband, my beautiful sons, my homey little house, my awesome job and a wonderful group of women who, whether they know it or not, keep me going through each and every week. Sometimes it's hard to look forward to Friday when it's so far away, but fellowship and understanding from these amazing moms gives me something to look forward to Thursdays for! You know who you are.....THANK YOU, LADIES!




- Posted from my iPhone

Time to make some baby plans!

We are 30 weeks this week....that means 10 weeks til baby Ronan arrives! And after the day I had Friday (and putting them off for all the "other" plans we've been making), I've decided that it's time to start making some plans for his arrival. The basic stuff like the clothes, carseat and crib are really just details and are things we have ready to pull out, but there are a few minor issues that we didn't even have to think about when Alistair was born, which are helping prepare me to be the mother of 2! 1st of all, what to do with Alistair when we go to the hospital? We have a regular babysitter, but she has school during the day. Which would be fine if Ronan waits until his June 16th due date (summer vaca). How long can we leave Alistair with someone (depending on who's available) before Noah will have to leave me to tend to him? What if it's the middle of the night? We don't know when labor will begin or how long it will take. How do you plan for something that's impossible to plan for?! I asked that same question to my doctor last week when he asked me if I had starting thinking about a birth plan. So, here's my "plan:" Let's see what happens! Sounds good, huh?! I'm not going to sweat it. Nature calls the shots, not me, so why bother, right?! Obviously, I'll have people ready and "on call" for Alistair, but would it REALLY hurt if he came with us, even just for a bit until someone could get him?

So, what kicked my butt into gear?! Well, at Friday's appointment, I had borderline BP again, which is NOT a big deal. What WAS a big deal was the semi-regular "uterine activity" I was experiencing. In other words, contractions! I was a little freaked out, to say the least, and after spending 3 1/2 hours that morning timing and logging them, I rushed to pack overnight bags for both myself and Alistair in the event that my doctor sent me to the hospital for monitoring. Just the thought of POSSIBLY delivering a baby 10 1/2 weeks early had me in tears, but remember, Noah's still in Va and we're still in Md! It would take him at least 3 hours to get here! Thankfully, my doctor decided to just send me home on modified rest for the weekend and have me monitor myself. Things are calm now and so am I. I will be going back to work on Monday and, hopefully, be getting to my due date by just slowing down a bit.

Lots of stuff is happening around the yard these days too! Noah has been home on the weekends and we've been cleaning up storm damage from the blizzards, trimming bushes and getting the garden ready for planting!

My "babies" at Storytime!

All 3 at their friend, Ryan's bday party!

Alistair pulling a ribbon out of the "non-violent" pinata!

(That's right, you pull strings until someone pulls the one that makes it fall apart.

We don't beat pinatas anymore! What is this world coming to?)

The landscaping is looking good!

My husband is the BEST!

(I haven't been able to be much help)

Rototiller at a yard sale for $20, turn a wrench, file a sparkplug and....

....MY GARDEN IS TILLED AND ALMOST READY!

(Sorry, camera lense was smudged a bit)

Aren't they just the best?!

My 3 and their friend, Bella, at the Kiddos Gym!