What a week!

Noah called last Friday night to tell me that he had to work Saturday afternoon and wouldn't be able to come home for the weekend. So, when a friend of mine (whom I haven't seen in 3 years) offered us a place to stay, I packed up the kids and headed to VA! It was a wild and crazy weekend and I SO enjoyed catching up with the WONDERFUL Eichenlaub family! THANK YOU, DEANNA AND MARK!

While we were there, we managed to have brunch at the oceanfront with Aunt Megan, Uncle Skinny and Aunt Jen! After a DELICIOUS meal, we went out to the beach where Aunt Jen got some nice shots of us! THANK YOU, JENNIFER!!!!!

(those photos will get their own post!)

From the oceanfront, we returned to The Eichenlaub's house for a cookie decorating party! FUN FUN FUN!!!! It was so nice to be together with these folks! Anya and Alistair played so well together and were both very sad when we had to leave. (These two were born 6 weeks apart and last saw each other in November 2007!) 

I was kind of bad about taking pictures while we were there, but I got a few.

Anya and Alistair are ready to bake cookies!

SWEETNESS!

Ronan and Aunt Jen

Monday night I worked late then grocery shopped on the way home, so it was dinner and bed as soon as we got home.

Tuesday night we went to the "Holiday Surprise" Storytime at the library and Alistair saw Santa! 

"Mommy, take a picture of me upside-down."

Merry Christmas!!

Snuggly baby sat through it all!

Alistair was 1st in line for Santa!

"I want Woody and Jessie and the Buzz Lightyear with wings!"

Wednesday night I had to stop at the store again after work.

Thursday morning we got a snow storm, so all of SoMd was shut down and by that night I was ready to just come straight home and not move!

PHEW!

Charred

Have you ever left a grilled cheese sandwich on just a little too long? Didn't get the garlic bread out of the oven right when the timer went off? How about toasting Pop Tarts on the bagel setting?

Well, tonight I almost ruined dinner. And, as I was scraping the black dust off of Alistair's sandwich with a butter knife (hoping to save our dinner), it dawned on me: I have become the grilled cheese sandwich. Not only do I eat one for dinner at least once a week, but I am burning as well.

As each week progresses, I get more and more tired. I need more and more coffee. I feel more and more ALONE. My bottom layer starts to burn and, by Friday, I begin to char. You wouldn't know if it weren't for the smoky haze filling the kitchen.

But, then......Friday night....Noah arrives, turns off the burner and by just BEING here, he scrapes off some of the blackened edges and I can be salvaged.

We get to be a family for 2 whole days and I pretend to be ok, but the process begins again the next week and, eventually, the edges will be crunchy, so we'll have to cut off the crust. And if we can't scrape off all the black, then we'll just add ketchup to mask the flavor. But, at some point, we would have scraped off so much black that there isn't enough left to be considered a satisfying meal.

This is how I feel most days.

I am not whole.

I am burned and broken.

I am raw and melted.

My outer layers have burned away.

There isn't much left of me.



- Posted from my iPad

Thanksgiving 2010

We spent Thanksgiving at my mom's house in NE Ohio. The trip there was pretty good, actually. We made it around the beltway in only 30 minutes and made it to her driveway in 7 hours (with 1 stop). Well, we were traveling at night, so it helped that the kids slept most of the way.  The trip back was during the day Saturday and was not as smooth....it took 12 hours to get home.

But, we had a WONDERFUL time seeing (almost) everyone and leaving was VERY emotional for me.....it still is. (More on my emotional state in my next post). It was nice to be home Saturday night and have all day Sunday at home with Noah before  he had to leave again. For that, I am SO GRATEFUL.

I hope you all had a beautiful, wonderful, love-filled Thanksgiving! We sure did!

Happy Thanksgiving
Even "Guy" made it into the picture

The Boys
(minus Ronan)

My best friend, Krista, holding Ronan and Me holding her baby, Carter!

Alistair with Carter and Landon, Krista's oldest, with Ronan

Storytime with Grandma!!!

Me and my sister, Ann

Pass the babies.......READY.......GO!

Daddy with Ronan

Mommy and Ronan (and coffee)

Mimi and Ronan

Grandma and Ronan

Great-Grandpap with Ronan

Great Uncle Curt with Ronan

Ronan and Uncle Mark

Me with Mark's daughter, Lilly

Great Grandma and Great Aunt Lynda with Lilly

Great-Grandpap and Lilly

Aunt Ann and Lilly

Great-Grandma and Lilly

Grandma and Lilly

Uncle Billy and Lilly

Ronan LOVES his MIMI blanket!!!!

Since Ronan started taking some foods while we were gone, I started making baby food for him and stocking the freezer as soon as we got back!

Avacado, Banana and applesauce

Home made brown rice cereal

'nana-'cado baby food with rice cereal!
Ronan is in LOVE!

No, You Don't Need a Head!

I always see these photos, They're everywhere. Anyone who has a photography blog has one. "The feet only shot." You know what I'm talking about. You've seen them, too. Courtney recently wrote a post about them HERE. Up until the past few weeks, I've wondered what the deal was with those. I mean, I bought my camera to take pictures of my kids; To remember how the were, not what shoes they wore. When I actually worded it like that, I FINALLY realized what the big deal is!

I was over come with emotion.

The same one that drove me to take this with my iPhone over a year ago:

Jake, Sadie and Alistair
3 small pairs of shoes. My 3 biggest reason to get out of bed!

The same emotion that drove me to tears when I was organizing Alistair's old clothes and shoes to be available for Ronan.

The flood of memories. Who bought what outfits for him. How much I loved the baby Robeez shoes with the soccer balls on them because they prevented him from pulling his socks off. How those low-top "Chucks" were his 1st walking shoes. How much I LOVE (and his daddy HATES) those tiny green Crocs.

Then, the flood of tears.....He will never wear these shoes again. He will NEVER be that little again. Those days are gone. He's not a baby anymore. Where did the time go? Did I enjoy it enough while it was here?....

But almost immediately, I felt a calm come over me.

God has given me a precious gift. TWO precious gifts. And part of the gift is the change. The grow, they learn, they become their own people and in the process, I grow, I learn, I help lead them on their path as people.

I LOVE those little shoes. I LOVE the boys who wore (and will wear) them. I LOVE these blessings and this life.

So, when I was having some calm time in the yard yesterday and Alistair ran out to join me wearing his fireman boots. I couldn't help but smile and I couldn't help but take this photo.

Now, this day will be a memory attached to these boots.


I recently read this post by Jess at Not You Average Mommy and she put into words what I have been feeling:

"Everyday is profound. Everyday is a gift. Every little shoe that comes in your house is a treasure from God. 

Somehow these meager words and descriptions only scratch the surface of what this little shoe caused me to feel. It was as if the miracle of that first moment when they were born happened all over again, only in my kitchen, because of a shoe."

Here are a few more shots from our walk around the yard:

Such a beautiful day!

Ralphy and Frank!

Our Japanese Maple

I walked past this bush at just the right moment!

I'm in a Table Cloth Phase

My mind, my heart and my home change with the seasons.

Like many people, when it's 90 degrees out, I can't wait for sweaters and hot cocoa. Then, when we're in the throws of snow, I dream about shorts and sand.

For some, spring is for cleaning.  They open the windows, vacuum the sills (yes, I know someone who does this), dust the knick knacks and deep clean the carpets. In the spring, I plant the garden and let the house go. It becomes a "farm house." The floors barely get swept, let alone mopped, and I tell guests to please leave their shoes ON! (For fear they will stain their socks). The dogs (and children) run wild, there are campfires (even on weeknights), and we stay up late canning pickles!

But, in the fall, as it begins to get cooler, I switch modes. The laundry MUST get done because there's twice as much, the floors get mopped because the dirt is now mud, we pull out hoodies and jeans and even the table dresses up a little bit. As the holidays approach, I attempt to make my decor (or lack thereof) look a bit more "grown-up." So, I de-clutter my counters, light candles and put the table cloth on the table. Part of this "change of seasons" also includes pulling out the stock pot and roasting pan which are stashed away during the warm weather. They become permanent fixtures on the counter and stove ready to roast turkeys and make soup. I begin to cook (and bake) a lot. What else is there to do when you're trapped inside by the cold?

I wouldn't want the table getting cold!

The BEST shortcut apple dumplings EVER!

Swiss Miss was purchased at Costco and the fridge is stocked with
Extra Creamy Redi-Whip!

My well-loved, hand-me-down roasting pan takes its
position on the counter!

The stock pot is ready to boil down some chicken!

My line-up!
(The spices that never get put away)
S&P, of course. (Note: That's kosher salt, the only kind to cook with).
HUNGARIAN Paprika, because, well, I'm Hungarian. Old Bay
because I live in Southern Maryland.
And Nature Seasoning because I AM my father's daughter!

What Inspires Me

I had lots of very witty and poetic things to say in this post, but I am so emotional about these photos that I'm just going to let them speak for themselves!

I am inspired to get to the weekend, so I can soak in some of this:

Friday night-Sunday night, he is Daddy's shadow:

And it wouldn't be a post about what inspires me without a photo of my boys together:

(LOVE their coordinating Carters blankets! I'll have to post that story sometime!)

I'm linked up on this week's You Capture

@ ishouldbefoldinglaundry.com