Just plain tired

Hello, my name is Patricia and I'm a coffeeholic......

I have a favorite brew, a favorite method of brewing and, of course, a favorite mug!

Yes, it's a Christmas mug and, YES, I use it all year long!

I'm not going to lie. I like coffee. I need coffee. I LIVE for coffee. 

Ok, it's not really that bad, but it has gotten worse. In fact, I'm struggling to control it these days. I feel like I am offending my coffee by saying this, but I DON'T REALLY ENJOY IT  SO MUCH ANYMORE. At some point it became a necessity instead of a luxury and it has damaged our relationship.

So, in order to restore my love affair withe that warm morning beverage, from this moment on, I vow to eat better, sleep better, and keep my self active.

I won't sweat the small stuff.

I will be OK with leaving somethings undone.

(As if I have a choice anyhow)

I will STOP running myself into the ground.....

....I will LOVE my coffee again!

For the good of all mankind!

Cuddling up and getting ready for bedtime!

So sweet!

Busy Busy Busy

I am aware of the time span between posts and I apologize. I will explain later, but here is a bit of what we've been up to lately. (please excuse the red-eye. I didn't have much time for editing.)

Friday night:
Pumpkin carving party with the Kendall, Kings and families!



















Not a big fan of cleaning the "guts" out:









Saturday night:
Scott and Kim's bday/ Halloween bash!




I threw some of my bellydance stuff together and made it "babywearing friendly!"




Sunday night:
Trick-or-Treating in Golden Beach!
(a bit tired and just wanting to be comfy, I didn't dress up again)










We hope everyone had a fantastic Halloween! We did!

Onto the next holiday......



- Posted from my iPad

The "A-word"

I started writing this post several months ago, but never published it because I was very upset at the time and just didn't want to post anything when I was that emotional.

There are several mean-spirited, mis-worded and just plain dumb things that people say to you when you're pregnant (or any time along the journey of parenthood, for that matter) that just make you want to punch them in the face. Among them is one that has come up a lot over the past year and no matter how it's said, it's still the same and it still hurts. The word "accident" had come up in conversation with friends a few times while I was pregnant and I have had to put my foot down and say that I don't like that kind of language when referring to a baby!

We may not have "planned" Ronan, but GOD did and He does NOT make mistakes. HE does not make "accidents!" I am GRATEFUL beyond words every single day for this new little life he has given us! I am truly honored that He would find us worthy to bring up a child for Him. Ronan was greatly loved from the moment we saw 2 lines on the stick. Ronan is a blessing in it's purest form. EVERY BABY IS! From the moment of conception, it is a life that God created. Period.

So, when someone announces a pregnancy, don't ask them if it was "planned." Don't ask them if it is "wanted." Withhold your curiosity (and your tongue), be happy for them and don't say anything stupid. You may think it's just a harmless question, but questioning the "validity" of someone's child is HURTFUL. EVERYTIME!

- Posted from my iPad

I am 1 in 4

Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance day.


This is for Riley Jae, Angel and all the babies who still live in their Mommy's hearts. No matter how early a baby is lost, it is still a LIFE....it is still a loss and a mommy's heart still grieves.


I really don't have the strength to write about this today, but it does mean a lot to me. Here are some good reads:

http://www.iamtheface.org/

http://holdingontothebrightspots.blogspot.com/2010/10/maybe-if-we-talked.html

http://carriedthroughgrief.blogspot.com/2010/10/day-to-honor-and-remember.html


And while you're reading stuff I give you, click on over and check out the latest giveaway @ 3 Sun Kissed Boys! Why not leave Yanet a sunny note while you're there?!
http://3sunkissedboys.blogspot.com/2010/10/csn-stores-giveaway.html
- Posted from my iPad

Quality Time

There are a lot of things that I have seen differently since Noah started working out of town. One of those things is time. When we don't get quantity, I demand QUALITY! I'm not talking about running all over the place spending money on fairs and festivals, I mean "real" family time. All that seemingly mundane stuff that I took for granted before. Seeing my husband holding our little baby or rolling around in the grass with the big boy tickling and laughing, coming home on a weeknight to find dinner almost ready. (REAL dinner, not toddler food!) These are things I would expect out of my day-to-day and I don't get them. So, when I do, I bask in the light of their smiles while my eyes fill up with tears hoping and praying that SOMETHING will happen soon and that this will all be just normal stuff again.


Here's to normal, unposed, unscheduled, unscripted, QUALITY time!





(photo credit: Garth Brackbill)




- Posted from my iPad

Babywearing!

So, i started just like a lot of people do.....with a Baby Bjorn. I carried Alistair in that thing ALL THE TIME and it took me quite a while to figure out that what I was doing had a name! Babywearing! I just liked to have him close to me and have my hands free to do things. I began to learn more and I now have several different carriers. (I still use the Bjorn from time to time, but I'm partial to my ring sling for Ronan right now). I am SURE that Alistair benefitted from it A LOT and now, so is Ronan!

I love wearing my children! I believe it has helped us bond, helped facilitate breastfeeding, it has helped them feel more secure and has contributed to their social, emotional and cognitive development. (may I add here: both of boys have preferred to be worn than sat in a bucket seat or laid on the floor staring at the ceiling......wouldn't you?)

I could keep going and get into the long, wordy story of my journey to babywearing, but I will spare you that. (most of you who know me personally, know I can get wordy!) What I DO want to say here is this:

Amidst all the baby carrier recalls, there has been a lot of debate over babywearing being safe. I'm here to tell you it is perfectly safe. Human mothers have been doing it since there were humans and there is a great organization with a great mission. The Baby Carrier Industry Alliance. Click here for their website. You can click here to learn more about their position and mission. And here for their Facebook fan page.

And while you're at it, click on over and visit Steph at Adventures in Babywearing!


Wearing Alistair at the Virginia Beach Memory Walk
(3 weeks old)





Noah wears Alistair, too! (5 months old)




Alistair on a hike in PA in the mei tai (7 months old)




Wearing Alistair while cleaning the yard (9 months old)




Alistair in the mei tai.
"Celebration in the Oaks" @ New Orleans City Park
(15 months old)




Alistair hiking ALL over Lake Lure, NC in the mei tai!
(2 years old!)





Close enough to kiss!
Ronan in the wrap @ 2 months




Ronan asleep in the ring sling
(3 months old)

Together....That's How it *Should Be

Together.

Because everytime we hear "Stuck Like Glue" By Sugarland,

Alistair says, "Mommy, we're stuck like glue" because we are!

Together.

Because I choose to wear my baby, keep him close, nurture him and

give him every opportunity for discovery and LOVE.

Together.

Because Alistair has a thing about lining things up.

Together. 

Alistair and "B."

Because he sees Mommy do it all the time.

Together.

*Because he only gets 2 days a week with Daddy.

Ok, I cheated a little bit. That second picture was not taken specifically for the YouCapture assignment. I had Noah take it for a post I'm drafting on my journey to babywearing, but, as the photo was taken, I was actually thinking about the word "togetherness." Crazy, huh?


This post is linked to this week's YouCature @ ishouldbefoldinglaundry.com

*Daddy works out-of-town M-F every week. We miss him A LOT!

Super Brother!

My boys are my whole reason for existence. I was made to be their mommy. They make my heart overflow with love every. Single. Day. I'm crying as I'm typing this just picturing their sweet little faces!

I get teary-eyed watching them each day as they are forming their relationship as brothers. With every new little thing Ronan does, Alistair is right in his face showering him with love and encouragement. And Ronan lights up at the sound of his brother's voice.

When I'm getting ready to nurse Ronan in public I throw my nursing cover over my shoulder while I position him. As I throw it back Alistair says, "Super Mommy!" Today, he found it laying and put it on himself like a cape and I said, "Super Alistair!" to which he replied, "No, Mommy! I'm a SU-PER BRO-THER!" (read with emphasis on syllables).

Yes. You. Are, Alistair! You are a super brother. Before Ronan was born, a lot of people asked me how I thought you would do with the baby. Many people thought that, at 3-years-old, you wouldn't know what to think and you would act out and be jealous of the new baby. I would always say, "he is too sweet and gentle to be jealous. I'm sure he'll be fine." but, I always concluded with, "well, it's his life now. He'll have to get used to it." I have realized something so powerful recently. When someone pays special attention to Ronan, you don't get jealous of Ronan. You don't throw a fit and want all the attention for yourself. YOU want to be the one doting on your baby brother. YOU want to get his smiles. YOU are protective (and sometimes a bit possessive) of your brother. WOW! I am so NOT surprised by this at all. You have always been so sweet!

Just this week:

Another adult was talking to/playing with Ronan. Alistair positioned himself between the two and began talking to his brother in that oh-so-sweet (oh-so-high-pitched) voice of affection.

Ronan was in the jumperoo for the first time. Alistair was right next to him showing him out to bounce it.

Freddy crawled over to "say hello" to Ronan a few days ago. Alistair said, "No, no, Freddy. Ronan is not a toy!"

Ronan cried as I put him in his car seat this morning. Alistair immediately began to rock him without me saying a word.

Ronan rolled over tonight. Alistair came running with HIS camera and took pictures like Mommy.

I LOVE MY BOYS MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I AM SO PROUD THAT THEY WILL ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHER! I AM SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED TO GET TO WATCH THESE TWO HANDSOME BOYS GROWING AND DISCOVERING TOGETHER EVERYDAY!


He is just so sweet!





"I'll turn the lights on for you, Ronan!"




"Hi, Bright Eyes!"





"Mommy, put Ronan on my couch on my bed with me and take a picture!"





Have you figured out the "head touch" yet?





"it's ok, Brother. The doctor takes care of kids, not peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!"










- Posted from my iPad

Controlling Chaos

I recently stumbbled across this website and LOVE it! So many great ideas to get orgnized and keep your life in order. She's fun to read, too!

Not a Supermom.....

I pretend to be tough.....but I'm not.

I pretend to have it all together......but I don't.

I try to be strong.....but I can't.

I keep bending.....but I won't break.

What's important is......I try.

I'm not super.....I'm just a mom....trying to be the best "me" for my kids.

I look at my boys and cry. I cry because they make me happy, but I cry because I'm sad for what they're missing. This isn't how a family lives.

The current state of my house is representative of how I feel right now and I won't let anyone in the door. I need this crazy tangled mess of me to straighten out again. I can't breathe!

I was in pure bliss this evening watching my boys drift off to sleep simultaneously.
Then I ruined it by staying up late to fold 2 weeks worth of laundry. BLAH!


- Posted from my iPad

Because my husband takes better pictures than I do

Alistair and Daddy take a bike ride to the beach on a sunny Sunday morning!

(All pictures taken with iPhone 3g)

Alistair and the Patuxent River

Alistair found a crab!

I just love this!

(Taken with Pano app on an iPhone 3g)

Mornings are Magical!

More You Capture can be found here.




A sweet time I have spent snuggling with my boys everyday for the past 3 months. I went back to work this week and, although they come to work with me and I enjoy that immensely, I do hate rushing them out the door when I would rather be enjoying this:














- Posted from my iPad

New Job

So, how did the week go at the new job?

Well, the first day, Alistair puked in the car on the way there. (still made it). Second day, I set the time on my alarm, but forgot to turn it on. (still made it). Third day, I did good. Fourth day, had both kids out of the house by 6:15am......boo-yah!

The job is awesome! I love it! I love the kids! I'm having a great time with them! Still getting a feel for the routine, but VERY pleased with how quickly and effortlessly I got all 5 kids out of the house to the bus stop this morning! LOL! And how many of you thought I was crazy for taking this on?! 5 boys 5 and under?! I knew it wasn't as hard as it sounded and I was right! Every minute of every day is an adventure and I LOVE IT!

Here's to the LONG weekend! :-)


- Posted from my iPad